I was standing next to my son today, you know him as Orange Shoe Guy (OSG) because of his wild shoe color choice, and was absolutely amazed at how tall he has grown. Truthfully, I am astounded. It seems like just yesterday he was a little guy. Not anymore. He is a young man. His growth has brought many changes. First and foremost, after almost thirteen years of bed wetting…
He is now dry. This is such a good thing for him. It is difficult to explain to a young child why they are the only one who cannot go to a friend’s house for the night or camp overnight. We did not keep him from doing those activities. We told him we would work through whatever issues that he faced. When he was at camp and too old for any form of nighttime underwear I would go out every day and bring the necessary items for him. It was done so discreetly that I am not certain any of the children knew. Yet, OSG knew and it bothered him on a regular basis. “Why do I have this problem?” He would question.
I would run through the basic parent responses. “It’s not your fault.” “Sometimes kids do this.” “Keep in mind that you are on medication that makes you sleep harder.”
For years these responses and the many others that I gave, fell on deaf ears. The only thing that he saw was that he was the one kid who had this problem. Every time I heard about an adult he knows who struggled in this area, I would tell him. It never seemed to help. Now that he has walked through the disappointment of not being able to control this and came out on the other end, he is sensitive to other kids in the same place. If nothing else good came out of his almost thirteen year struggle, this helps. Often it takes struggles such as this to grow a person (in his case a child.) I would have never asked for it to be included in his life but now that we have finished, I can say that I am grateful that it has made him realize that often things happen in people’s lives that they have no control over.
The second major change that has come about is his ability to see people for more than what they look, smell or act like. He is beginning to see them for their heart. I can’t think of anything that I would like more than to have this beautiful child with major medical issues, adopted out of the foster care system into a transracial placement be able to use what he has lived to touch the lives of others. It is what I seek daily for him.
~Angie
Photo Credit